Flirty 30... the new 20!

30 years ago today I was born.  I've been in contemplation of my life thus far for the past week.  I am so grateful to sit where I sit today -- to be through my 20's, and to have a little wisdom and clarity.  I know that be it good or bad tomorrow brings change.  I choose to be fluid.  I choose to love.  I choose to be grateful.  

I was able to spend this day with my family, doing a little yoga, eating a little sushi, having a good time.  This is exactly what I wanted to do today.  

A very thankful Thanksgiving

This year we spent Thanksgiving with Jeff's Dad down at his ranch in St. George.  I have to admit that I was a little apprehensive about the mass amount of people to be in attendance, ok I was having a full blown anxiety attack to be completely honest, we're talking about 70 people with varying religion practices.  Jeff, the baby, and I headed down on Thursday morning bright at early and made it just in time for the big meal.  

I realized something about myself on this trip.  First off, my daughter truly is the cutest child on both sides of the family; and second, I have an attachment to certain foods, or more clearly certain foods are associated with various holidays and memories for me.  For example, my family is filled with excellent cooks and we always have homemade baked goods.  The thought of store bought rolls and pies is quite offensive.   It's just not a holiday without mom's homemade crescent rolls and a slice of homemade banana cream pie!  And a slice of homemade pumpkin pie, and a slice of homemade apple pie, etc.  

I was a little perturbed with the abundance of store bought goods at this years Thanksgiving.  But, believe me that I understanding buying goods when you're serving cafeteria style to such a large group.  I was also a little frustrated that my food was cold by the time I got to eat -- Zari needed feeding first.  After our meal we headed over to Jeff's mom's house in Ivans, a suburb of St. George, and had pie with a few of her kids.  This was less anxious as there weren't as many people, but I still missed mom's homemade pies.  

The rest of the weekend was relaxed at the ranch.  We went to Zion's and hiked a bit and ate until we couldn't eat anymore.  Zari was able to spend time with her other Grandparents and I was grateful to see their adoration of my beautiful daughter.  I'll admit that it was a bit strange, but I have no doubt that Grandma, Grandma, and Grandpa love their newest granddaughter.  

I spent the return drive in thought about all that I am thankful for.  It's easy for me to rack up a nice list of the abundance in my life but when I get down to what is at my core, what I value most, it is the relationships in my life.  If push comes to shove than I choose people over things.  I am so grateful for my family and for our respect and love of each other.  I appreciate our diversity of thought, lifestyle, religion, and race.  I am grateful for the bounty of my friendships.  Growing up I didn't have many close friends and was kind of a loner.  It wasn't until my mid twenties that I had girlfriends that I feel authentically love and support me and I them.  I have some amazing women in my life!  I am surrounded by bright, driven, powerful women who are actively making a difference in the world.  I am also grateful for my partner, Jeff, and for his children for they are probably my greatest teachers right now.  

What a beautiful life this is!  Being in southern Utah my mind wandered to the pioneer times and to thinking of the convenience of technology.  I am grateful to be alive today, to be a women in America right here right now.  I couldn't ask for more opportunity.  

It's all political

I forgot to mention my elation of the recent election. This is an incredible time to be alive and we are proud Obama supporters at my house. We've had quite the discussion about politics and different views with the boys because both of the boys classes have covered this election. Ben has been an Obama supporter from the get-go while Cameron has wavered back and forth.

On the nigh of the election Jeff called the boys to say goodnight and to ask them who they would vote for. Ben stated Obama without hesitation. Good boy. Cameron surprised us by saying that that he was voting for McCain, then he added with much emotion, "I like this country just the way it is, I don't want anything to change!" Jeff and I had a good laugh about this and agreed with Cameron's astute observation that McCain would be more of the same.

It's a generational thing

I've been horrible about getting on here, mostly because I'm running a sleep deficit and using itme that could be for blogging trying to catch up. Oh well.

This past weekend Zari and I joined my Dad and headed south for cousin Tyrone's wedding and family luau. This was a very enjoyable weekend. I think that this was the first time that my Dad and I talked about some deeply personal stuff. Being cooped up in the car for 5 hours makes it easy to talk -- there is no where for him to escape to. I was grateful for the opportunity to discuss several things about life and perspective, very personal sharing.

Zari loves her Grandpa. It has been such a joy to see her little face light up when he comes over to visit. On this trip down south Grandpa played music for Zari every day and she loved it! She is a fan of the ukulele and the guitar. I think she really enjoys the bluesy stuff, although she's pretty good with anything musical. :)

This got me to thinking about how it truly takes a village to raise a child. I feel so blessed to have my family involved in my daughters life. She will grow up with the love and support of Grandma's, Grandpa's, Aunties, Uncles, cousins and of course or big brothers and parents. What a blessed child.

Red, White, and Blue

It's been a few days and I apologize. I've been wrapped up in mommyland, nothing particularly interesting to report. Yes my daughter is still adorable and yes Halloween was great; a glutenous capitalist holiday created by Hershey's and Hallmark. I'd rather we focused more on the "trick" than the "treat," but that's just me. :) I say that only because I'm having a bit of a down week with self image. The baby weight is not coming off as easily as it came on.

But much more importantly, Obama was elected President of the United States just two night ago. This was a momentous occasion -- a historical first and very inspiring. For the first time in years I've felt a little thing I call hope. Hope that America's image and actions abroad can change, hope that our country can unite and celebrate diversity, and hope that the American dream still exists. With all of this talk of disaster with the financial markets and the ho-hum of the economy it's nice to have a brief infusion of something bright.

I am proud to be an American again. Hopefully, there's that word again, the world can view the past 8 years as the Bush years and not just as American's years. The war, the economy, our foreign relationships... hopefully these will all change.

Shmoopy... Ode to Jeff

Today is my second anniversary of my first date with Jeff. Two years ago today we went to dinner at the Oasis Cafe and had the best first date ever known to man. Everything went right on that date. Our conversation was immediate and never waned, he was a perfect gentlemen and very refreshing to talk to. We stayed so late talking at the restaurant that were asked to leave as they were closing. A good sign that I noted as we headed to a coffee shop to continue talking. We ended the night with a hug and have continued our relationship from there.

Last year on this day we had confirmation from my doctor that I was pregnant. That came as a bit of a shock. We were engaged last May and had talked about having kids but not in the near future. Both of us were a little freaked out and that dinner at the same restaurant didn't go as well as the first one. Needless to say that Zari is the most amazing gift to us.

As I was out walking Lola this morning in the bitter cold I was pondering my gratitude for Jeff. Jeff is the kindest most generous man that I know. Jeff is full of compassion for all people and is very giving of his time and energy. I am constantly amazed and inspired with the brilliance of Jeff's mind -- he is a marketing genius and by far one of the smartest people that I know. Jeff is an incredible father. He is very engaged with his sons and has been a delight to watch with Zari. I am thrilled that my daughter has Jeff as a father; a father who adores her and thinks about her with every decision he makes. Jeff is a family man. I know that Jeff puts me and the kids first. He is a wonderful partner, a gifted lover, and my best friend.

I look at my daughter's shining face this morning and I can see her father. I can't imagine going through this experience called life with anyone else. I'm in for the long haul here. I cowboyed up quite a while ago.

Tonight we will go back to that same cafe and recreate a little of the magic that flowed so abundantly two years ago. Zari's going to be at Grandma's so maybe a little of that magic can carry over when we get home too. (wink wink)

Eyebrows... the key to the face.

I awoke this morning a bit peeved. This is not usual for me as I am quite a morning person and usually look forward to the possibility that each day brings. Not today. I rolled out of bed early to head to pilates and when I reached the bathroom I was rudely reminded of my loss. Yesterday, sadly and to my complete dismay, I was butchered.

Let me explain. You see yesterday afternoon I went to my monthly wax appointment to get a little trimming done on the face. Yes, I said face. I am now openly owning up to the fact that I wax my eyebrows and lip. If you've ever seen my Hawaiian father, and the abundance of hair that covers his body, than you understand. I've kept up this practice since early junior high years, yes a little while now. I personally hold great value in perfectly shaped brows. I feel they are the key to the face and can really make or break your expression. They show surprise, disbelief, or mild disapproval in a way that no other facial feature can quite capture.

The woman whom I would normally call a waxing goddess completely slaughtered my brows yesterday. For some reason only known to she and Buddha, she took a step back into the year 2000 and gave me an anorexic brow! Argh!!!! I absolutely hate this look. And the hardest part? My eyebrows are not of the extremely furry vintage. Oh no, they are sparse and take FOREVER to grow.

Eyebrows are very important. I recall a fond memory of my dear sweet Grandma when she had just recently had her eyebrows tattooed. Now while I am not interested in this permanent procedure because of the ink -- again my Hawaiian Father: my hair is DARK, all of my hair is DARK. I've seen girls with dark brows get them tattooed only for the ink to fade into a lovely lavender color. But my Grandmother doesn't have the same dark hair that I do and over the years her tattooed brows have proven to be a pretty good investment. One specific afternoon while she was still in the healing process (this means that she had to goop them up and they were quite bold) we caught her watching Fear Factor with my brother. She then inquired about a certain item the contestants were ingesting, and with her goopy angry brows the emphasis came at quite a shock. "Buffalo testicles?" Needless to say that this statement still illicits a laugh.

Now Jeff, lucky guy, has the opposite problem. My how his brows groweth! In fact I found one aforementioned brow hair that had decided to hook up with one of his ear hairs. (they groweth abundantly too.) I'm not kidding you this one hair was about two inches long. Lucky guy. He could change the shape every couple of weeks. A browhawk one week, anorexic brows the next.

I guess this experience is to teach me humility. Or to find a new wax goddess. Maybe both...